I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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