Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
