You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
