she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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