Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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