fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Porn is love you can see.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
