I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
