i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I love how my cats smell like pot.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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