i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
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