If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The best revenge is premature balding
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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