I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
