The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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