THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
