Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
