it wasn't lemon gatorade
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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