guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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