i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
