dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
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Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
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Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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