if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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