is your mom at the bar?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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