anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize