If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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