A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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