Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
