Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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