oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
