after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
