haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
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