I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
