sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
