And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm both gender and math confused
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
