so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
