he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
