Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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