dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
