So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
