I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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