im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
