I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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