Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
