i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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