apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
