My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
