I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
