I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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