so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
