I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
