the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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