Someone shit on the floor
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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