her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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