dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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