just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize