3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
