She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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