I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
