1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
