I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm bleeding and have questions
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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