I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
