Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
