i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You are the jesus of drinking
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize