The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
