How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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