I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
