that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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