I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
